Girl's Weekend!

I am so excited for tomorrow! We're goin' on a girl's weekend! Woo hoo!



We did the same thing a year ago - see us up above? - and had such a good time that we vowed to do it again. So this year we booked our date in plenty of time so that we could all make it fit with our families and prepare our husbands children for a weekend without Mummy.



We'll be staying in the same bach in Raglan as last time because we know it works well. We chose Raglan - a small west coast beach town - because it's nice and close to Hamilton so we won't spend half the weekend travelling, yet it still feels like a holiday because you know you're 'at the beach.'

The Mums who didn't bring their babies entertained the babies whose Mums were doing their share of the clean up.

We've divvied up the meals so each lady is responsible for one meal, and we'll all bring a drink and snack to share, so we're guaranteed some delicious food! I still drool when I remember Renee's salmon and tropical salad from last year...



The one thing I hadn't been able to factor in when we planned this so long ago was my husband having a head injury... It's been a bit crazy round these parts for the last four weeks and I really feel (maybe you'll think me selfish) that I need this weekend to have a bit of a break from the (extra) hard work that has been my life lately. Thankfully, my husband sees this need (or at least sees my desire to make it work) and we've arranged care for the kids for the weekend so that I can still go. Phew. I'm glad it works out that way actually, because it means that Hayden will actually have a nice quiet weekend to rest as well. Win win, I think.

Danielle and Stephanie - they look so little compared to how big they are now. A year is a long time...

So, I've got my Things To Remember list well sorted - as we all know my brain is like a broken sieve. You know when you're excited about something and so you get packed and ready really really early? (Apart from on the way to Christchurch for the Blogger's Conference, sorry Talia!) I've already got the kids overnight bags sorted and Saturday night's roast defrosting, plus my supermarket shopping list waiting for me in the morning.

Look at 1-year-ago chubby, short-haired Tristan! (And his little buddy, Leyton.)

**Edit: Ha ha, oops. I must have gotten distracted after I added the photos to this post because I totally forgot to finish writing it... Woop woop! Looking forward to tomorrow!

How to Help A Newborn-Mama-With-Other-Children

So, a really long title, but it was all I could do. Blame it on Baby Brain. Or something.



I was thinking today (as I was contemplating the full-to-the-brim washing line outside and the enormous dry pile to fold inside) about the things that are the most helpful when you have a newborn baby PLUS other children. Is it just me, or do you think people fall into the trap of thinking, "Oh, she has other children so she'll have everything she needs and will be managing fine. She's well-practised!"

Well, let me tell you, I don't have everything I need, and I may be well-practised but help is still 1000% appreciated!



Here, in no particular order, is my list of the things I think are most helpful when a Newborn-Mama is up to her ears in newborn goodness, toddler tantrums, kindy drop-offs and school prep.

1) FOOD
Cooking will be the last thing a busy Mama has time for. Eating will be something she is desperate to do when breastfeeding a hungry babe. Drop past with a meal, either frozen for a busy day later, or hot just at dinner time (or lunch time!). Just be sure to let her know earlier in the day so that she (or her wonderful man) won't have something else organised defrosting on the bench. Snacks are good too - my favourite thing to take to a friend who's just had a baby (still at the birth centre or hospital even!) is a bag of food to pick at between meals. Think fruit, chocolate, crackers, nuts, lollies and some nice juice.

2) WASHING
Anyone who runs a household with small people ( or multiple big people!) will know that washing is a time-consuming, never-ending task. Call Newborn-Mama in the morning and tell her to put on her machine and then go and hang it up for her an hour later, or for bonus points, stop by and pick up a basket of dirty washing, then wash, dry, fold and return it! Wonderful friends have done this for us in the past and it is such a lifesaver!

3) HELP OUT WITH THE BIG KIDS
This will look different depending on how big the 'big kids' are. It might mean reading them a few stories so Mama can have a shower, taking them for a walk so Mama has some peace, picking them up for a few hours so Mama can sleep (cha-ching!), or doing a school run or kindy drop-off/pick-up so Newborn-Babe can keep sleeping. I'm sure there's more, just ask Newborn-Mama what's most helpful.

4) USEFUL GIFTS
This will be my fourth baby so I certainly have all the 'things' I need, like a car seat, toys and sheets and blankets etc. However, it is always nice to receive gifts when you have a baby! The best things for a Newborn-Mama-With-Other-Children to be given (in my opinion) are newborn-sized nappies and... Actually, that's all I can think of right now. Baby Brain moment. Mama's with other children, what do you think? Leave a comment. **Edit: Bibs! They get stained and old. New clean ones are so good! (Thanks Anneke!)** If it's a family with all (or nearly all) boys/girls, a nice little something for Baby to wear could be a nice idea - clothes can get a little washed-looking after going through three or four little ones!

5) DON'T WAIT FOR HER TO ASK
It's not always easy for a Mama to ask for help. Even if you're willing to do something for her whenever she needs it, she might not be able to ask. It's good to say, "If you need any help, just let me know!", but follow it up with a phone call or text later offering (or asking for) something specific.




TIPS FOR THE NEWBORN-MAMA HERSELF
When you lay down for a nap with your precious Bundle, take the phone off the hook so that all these lovely people ringing you with help won't accidentally wake you up. Having learnt this one from experience, it's hard to keep the annoyance and/or grief that your nap's been disturbed out of your voice when you answer the phone...

Do ask for help! If you're blessed enough to have people around you who are willing to help, they will be happy to hear from you. And most people will say no if they really can't do something that day, so there's no need to fear being an inconvenience.

Take your time. Your little one is little for such a short time, so take as much time as you want to soak it all up. The dishes and vacuuming will always wait for you. (Or a helpful visitor!) Read some stories to your big kids, rough and tumble together, do their homework with them, something each day to help them remember they're still important too.


Motherhood is such a juggle. There are constantly multiple balls in the air. But you know what? It IS okay to drop a couple. Someone else will kindly grab them for you, or you can pause and reach down to pick them up yourself when you can, no harm done.

* * *

Every baby is exciting, not just the first and second. If you are lucky enough to know someone having not their first but their second, third or more Baby, you can be such a blessing to them with just a little effort and thought. I am thankful to all the people who have helped our family over our 'child-bearing years.' The support of family and friends really does make what is a challenging time so much richer.

E: School Boy

The day is finally here. My first baby is a baby no more. He is now proud to be a school boy.



Excitement levels were high at our house this morning! Even I, who always jumps at the chance of more sleep, woke up early and didn't want to get back to sleep. We were up, breakfasted and dressed on time and ready to go. I am usually late for everything - no matter how hard I try - but I am determined not to make Elliot into that poor stressed child who is always late for school. And we did it! We were even ready early enough that I could snap some photos (of course!) and field a few good luck phone calls. It's been such a special morning.



The only dampener being that the traffic was very frustrating and made my hard-earned early leaving time whittle away. Tomorrow we'll go a different way.

And you know what? I DIDN'T CRY. I nearly lost it as I prayed for him this morning, but managed to hold it in. It was just so lovely to see him happy to be in the classroom, see the other children welcome him and show him where to put his new chair bag and pillow and then see him sit happily on the mat next to his good friend Katie. It was just too good. I know he's going to love it.



I couldn't help myself last night as I went into his room (like I do every night) to tuck him in. I watched him sleeping for a while and brought up my memories of him as my little newborn, my firstborn son. As I gave him his goodnight kiss I thought, 'This is the last time I'll kiss you as a pre-schooler.' Okay, now I'm crying. Excuse me for a minute.

I'm so proud to have reached this stage with him. We've walked these five years together, him and me, and now it's time for him to make his first move from within these four walls. We're both excited for the challenges school will bring and they ways we'll see our boy flourish. We look forward to walking with him through this next part of his journey.

Tidbits From Today

Duraseal. All kinds of fun. The first book I covered was awesome. The second one has incurable wrinkles. Not too bad, but they offend my sense of smoothness. Also frustrating is that one roll only covers two of E's books - one big, one small. He has 10. About to head out to the shop for a few more rolls...

* * *

When I answer the phone and you say, "Good evening ma'am. I am calling previous Telecom customers etc etc," and it is 3:30pm and I have never been a Telecom customer, that and your strong accent tell me that you are not calling from New Zealand. I wasn't really interested already, but now I'm truly not. Telemarketers (or whatever they are) do frustrate me!

* * *

E's chair bag and pillow have been finished. It felt so cool to make them for him! It is still so surreal that I am the mother of a (just about!) school boy now. Sometimes I don't even feel like an adult, how can I have a school-aged child?!



We chose his favourite colour - green - and when I was at Spotlight I saw this cool vintage map fabric which reminded me how much E loves to look at maps. Throw in some blue bias binding and some (or his other favourite colour) red felt and voila! A chair bag! And matching cushion, for mat time. (Which I have yet to stuff. And take a picture of in natural light.)



* * *

Our bathroom renovations are moving along nicely. My father-in-law (who used to be a carpenter) has been here all of today and most of yesterday. Last weekend my Dad was here to help with pulling down the old walls in the bathroom - Hayden's head still wasn't (isn't) up to the noise and jolting that the job needed.




The big job my FIL has been doing has been fitting the new bath in. By all accounts what should have been pretty simple was made very complicated by the ridiculous fibreglass bath that we brought. Unbeknownst to us at the time, it is not flat on the underside, so the cradle for it to rest in had to be cut piece by piece, extremely accurately, to make it level and un-wobbly. (So technical, I am.) But it's in now, and as I type, the second piece of Gib Aqualine (plaster board) is going in too!




A funny side effect of the current renovations is our in-between shower. We have a new hot water system - a gas Rheem, continuous hot water from a little box outside the house, no clunky hot water cylinder. Our old cylinder (now rolling around in the garden) was a wetback (connected to our fireplace, which helped to heat the water when it was on), meaning it needed to be low pressure. The new shower - with the ability to control how hard you turn the water on - is not ready yet, so we still have our old shower connected. Now our new hot water is mains pressure, and combined with our already strong cold water, showering at our house is an extreme sport! The water shoots out INCREDIBLY fast, so hard it's as good as a massage. (Almost). The first time Hayden used it he sprayed the entire shower room as it careened off his head.

* * *

Hayden is doing remarkably well, for being nearly 3 weeks post-smacking his head on the road. Loud noises (ie skill saws, Rosie screams) make his head hurt, but he's not really having headaches, and in fact has only taken paracetamol (at my insistence) maybe three times in the last 10 days.



He can concentrate for longer and has been getting some planning and marking done for school. His eyesight is improving - he can read the clock on the oven from the dining room table again. Reading is probably the thing he can do for the least amount of time, though that's improving. He certainly is brighter every day, which is really great to be able to see. Those first few days he just looked dazed. Lights on but no-one home. He plans to be at school next week only for the same time as the students (8:40am - 3:15pm) and will come in the car with us as I drop Elliot off. I'm concerned about how a full-on work day will go, but he and his principal both know that we will be taking it as it comes and seeing how Hayden goes. All that's left of his gruesome smashed face is a red line above his eye (that will take a long time to fade, I think) and a scab on his chin (which you can JUST see in the photo above, taken two nights ago). He's a bit disappointed that he doesn't have more to show for it!

* * *

Dinner tonight was yummy - though not photo worthy. Satay sauce lends itself to unflattering comparisons with various bodily emissions. But something I put in the mix for the meatballs tonight made my eczema EXPLODE as I was mixing it. I wonder what it was? Raw egg? Tomato sauce? Oh wait. I just had an epiphany as I was typing. I put paprika and cumin in too. It would have been the spicyness on my already sup-par fingers. Duh. So now I have bright red, spotchy swollen fingers, but a full tummy of yummy food! Mmmmmm.

And on that note of proof that I really am as scatter-brained as you thought, I'll leave you to your Saturday evening!

E: Pre-schooler No More

My biggest boy is now ready to become a fully-fledged school boy. My little dude, my first baby, had his last day at Montessori today.



I didn't think I'd be emotional - he and I are both so ready for school - but I've been fighting off tears since I picked him up at 3pm! The end of an era has come upon us. I can't believe that this kid, who was my only baby such a short time ago, is now almost a school boy. That his pre-school time will, in only one more week, be over. Gone. Never to be repeated. I've always known that these baby-toddler-pre-school days are fleeting, but this seems WAY too fast!

See how much he's grown?! E's first day of kindy (March 2011) and his last (April 2013).

It feels a little like Elliot's leaving the nest already! Anticipating the weeks ahead where we will continue our normal weekly routines, but without Elliot, seems strange. I can't deny that the thought of one less little person at home during the day when this next baby arrives is one that provides me with a little peace, but it is still a strange thought. I feel a bit gutted for him, knowing that he'll be missing out on all those playtimes with his friends and fun playground picnics and all that other stuff we do, even though I know he'll be having a marvellous time with his new school friends and his new teacher, learning and growing and changing.



Life goes on, I suppose. You can't ever get comfortable in one place because our places in life are always changing. In another five short years I'll be getting ready to send our last baby off to school. I can't even tell you how strange it is to contemplate that. I am really feeling the truth of that saying, "The days are long, but the years are short." It's not an easy path, this full-time mothering gig (though it is a great one), but my goodness does it FLY!

Mamas, tell me how you felt when your firstborn finished up kindy and prepared for school. Did you shed a few tears like me?

It's Good. (+ Face Photos!)

Can I just tell you how good it is to be surrounded by SO MUCH family?! So good.

Being an adopted person has meant that my definition of family has never been defined by genetics. Being part of such a wonderful church community has meant I've been surrounded by so many wonderful people who are nothing less than family to us.

Today has looked like this:

Breakfast with these two beautiful people. Little Brother Tristan spent another night entertained by his 4 cousins at his Aunty Heidi's. (We missed him!)



Elliot went to kindy, and I texted a wonderful friend (I have a lot of those...) who said she'd have Rosie for the morning. Then I turned up and discovered she already had another (of another wonderful friend's) two girls for the morning, and she still said yes! She also gives very good hugs.

Rosie and I then had a lovely lunchtime date while birthday present shopping for her cousins. It was so sweet to see her drinking her chocolate fluffy and listen to her chattering away.

Mum picked Rosie up and she gets to have a sleep over at her Oma's house. Today has been good timing for Rosie - quality time with Mummy and lots more with Oma so she can fill up her love tank. It's been a bit tough for this wee middle child!

While I was out picking Elliot up from kindy, at least two people dropped in. (Murphy's Law, right? Because Hayden was sleeping on the couch.) One with baking from school (gingerbread men! With pebbles!) and the other with tonight's dinner. Not only the most delicious-looking lasagne, but also a loaf of freshly baked bread, herby garlic butter and a container of lovely muffins. Spoiled, or what?!

We are taking each day as it comes. Attempting to keep the noise levels down so Hayden's head stays on his shoulders, going out for trips with the kids when that doesn't work, parcelling the kids out to various friends and family for various times and dates, definitely enjoying Milos with baking to dunk!

Hayden's face is looking a hang of a lot better now. Though the photos don't show quite how disgusting his chin wound looks...
L - Wednesday, Middle - Thursday, R - Today

We are coming to grips with the idea that actually Hayden might not be ready to go back to school after the holidays, but we will know more as we see how he progresses over the next two weeks. Honestly, I will be surprised if he is ready. Silver lining - we had a thought today that if it lasts long enough, we might be able to make a claim on the health insurance we've been paying all this time!

Silly Head + Good Things

Possibly the most random post title you'll find here...



Sometimes I don't like living inside my head. It can get a bit nasty in there. Today I've been finding myself tending towards a disgusting mix of self pity and frustration at everyone and thing around me. I don't like being yucky on the inside.

So instead, I will choose to see the good things. Because yes, on the surface, it hasn't been such a great week. But there are a lot of things that ARE good about it too.

I've really been enjoying spending heaps of time with Hayden. Even if it's a drowsy, bruised and puffy Hayden, he's still the man I love. Nice quiet quality time is just what we needed. He says it sucks, but that's only because the reason we're having so much time together is because he smacked his head on the road. Hmmm, that's true, but beggars can't be choosers, right? *wink*

I keep getting nice surprises at home - like cleaning up tonight (aside: even after having only 2 bigger children home for half the day and there's still tidying to do? Sigh.), putting away the books and realising that my beautiful friends didn't just do the dishes and put away the crap on my lounge floor while we were at the hospital, they did things like tidy the bookshelf and wash out my crusty Milo jar too.

As well as having a freezer stocked with meals, we've also been given some containers of baking. It is SO NICE to be able to make a Milo in the evening and have a nice biscuit to dip in it. It helps when said biscuit is loaded with choc chips and buttons!

(Image here from Milk and Cookies blog. Check out her other cute illustrations!)

It's been lovely to read all the posts from other NZ bloggers who were at the Bloggers Connecting conference in Christchurch over the weekend just been. It's helped me to remember the absolute high it left me with. There's now a post with a linky for all the round-up posts, so make sure to link yours in if you haven't. Or friends who weren't there (or even aren't bloggers at all) go have a look and see what it was all about. Don't forget to check out Dee's Other Conference. She's so funny. Promise my own post-conference post will be coming soon.

The sunshine today was much appreciated. While I didn't quite get my washing out, I liked that it wouldn't have rained on it if I did... Let's hope we have a repeat of that tomorrow. (The sunshine, that is.) Otherwise I'll be looking for a dryer to borrow before I run out of clean knickers...

It's good to see my big boy is ready to start school. Kindy doesn't hold much challenge for him any more, I suspect. He's not fussed on going, which I think has come about since his school visits the last two weeks where he's been able to see what the school classroom environment is like. It's wonderful to see him growing, developing and learning as he become so much more the boy - there's just about no toddler left in him at all any more. Why must babies grow up? I'm excited to see how he'll take the challenge of school and run with it.


Well, I'm off to clear the table and do the dishes. Maybe as a reward I'll have one of those choc-filled cookies I mentioned...