15 November 2010

Sometimes I feel like a real mother...

You know what? This might sound strange, but the realisation that I am a mother still hits me from time to time.
I think I have a hard time living in the present and I just go with the flow, so the addition of my two gorgeous children has just had me rolling with the punches (figuratively, of course! No rolling punches around here.) and moving on with life as we know it.

I have been known to carry one of my sleeping children to the bathroom mirror, instead of their bedroom, just so I can observe the fact that it is me, Jessica (you know that person that you always are in your head, regardless of what you do and where you go?), holding a child that is mine, and this is what we look like. That sounds really strange doesn't it...?

Big E at just a few weeks old

So anyway, there are times that I mentally stop in the middle of what I'm doing and think, "Ha. It's true. I am a mother!"

It's when I find myself doing things my Mum did with me and my sister when we were little, like letting us 'paint' the fence - with water. Big E was helping us stain the deck a few weeks ago, with his paint brush and bowl of water.
It was so great! Or like when Big E wanted to stand at the bench with me and wash some dishes. Check it out - here's me doing washing dishes when I was little:

And here's Big E doing it just the other week!

(Shows you just how much dish-washing brushes HAVEN'T changed in the last 20 odd years!)

Or sometimes when I find myself licking my finger and wiping Big E's face - come on, who hasn't done that?! (And then gone, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe I just did that!")

Or when I find myself wanting to run outside and yell at the noisy car/lawnmower/neighbours/dog/chainsaw/etc for waking up my children - and I am totally not a confrontational person!

Or when I find myself about to react with disapproval, and instead decide to enjoy the moment. As I wrote this post, Big E had just brought the outside broom inside, and was sweeping the carpet. What a helpful child!

There's so many more that I can't even remember (I'm sure I thought of more when I was thinking about this post...). You know, for all the times I think this motherhood business is tough - and frankly, I get a little bit over-it sometimes! - I really, actually, truly love it. Yes, my children bring me the greatest pain and frustration I have ever known, BUT they so much more than make up for it in the joy they bring to us. Every night - literally, every night - I thank God for blessing us with these 2 little people. They are such treasures.

If you are a mother, think about some of those times your children just made you want to jump for joy, and smile in the remembering. If you are about to become a mother, know that it's tough, real tough, but amazing. And if you're not a mother yet (or a father!), tell a mother you know that she's doing a great job - sometimes she needs to hear it!

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