17 February 2012

Mountain tops and doldrums

This mothering thing. It's a strange life.
How did I get in to it by knowing so little about what it would actually be like? I'm glad there was no test to sit to prove I had the requisite knowledge to be a 'good mother'. I surely would have failed.

It seems like this journey is one that goes up and down and side to side, the entire time balancing what feels like a hundred balls in the air.

Your children are amazing, they're not-so-much, they're playing nicely, they're hitting, they're happy, they're angry, they're making you want to cry because they fill your heart with so much joy, then they're making you want to yell because they make you so angry. They love fruit, they hate veges, they love God, they don't want to pray, they want to be with you, they want to go to Oma's, they wee on the toilet, they poop their pants, they kiss, they hit, they remember their manners, they are so rude, they play for hours outside, they want to watch TV all day, they sleep all night, they wake up screaming, they are just the sweetest things, then they're little terrors. I think I could just keep on going with this, but I'll stop here. My children are blessings beyond description and every day I truly thank God for giving them to me, but the ups and downs? Still there.

Today I was struck by the ebb and flow of life as a mother.

Pic source here and here
Am I the only one who feels this? We go from the absolute heights of joy and wonderfulness, down into the doldrums of misbehaving children and difficult behaviours. I am so thankful that my God goes with me, wherever I am. Because this parenting business? I don't even want to attempt it without knowing His will and having His guidance.

I want so much for my children. So much of it that I still have to learn for myself! At times I feel like I'm about to be swamped; my children are so small and they look to me so much for guidance and instruction - how can I teach them all they need to know?!!
But that's not how it works. I don't have to know it all right now. I don't need my entire parenting career in one day. Just enough for today. And - thankfully - it's not up to me. I take the time to know my God, to love Him, to do everything I do with the intention of giving Him glory and the rest will come. Because they're not my children, really. They're His. And He has given them to me (and Hayden!) for a time, so I truly believe that He will give me what I need to raise them for Him.

Is it easy? The biggest, resounding NO you can imagine. No, it's not easy. It's downright the hardest thing I have ever done. I think it always will be. But because I believe in a sovereign God who has control of all the details of my life - big and small - I can trust in Him because He knows me and loves me. If every day I come to Him, bring my needs and those of my husband and children before Him, He will reveal Himself to us and His strength becomes ours.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

I need to remind myself of this every day. Because I am fickle, and I forget.
I praise God that He is faithful.

I have just started getting up in the morning earlier than my kids (I don't want to think of it as "early" because then it's hard to get out of bed! It's only "early" if you went to bed too late the night before!) and I love it! I love being able to have some time to be me before I'm Mummy. It's really great to have time to wake up and gear up for my day, especially as it takes me a bit longer than it does my children, who are ready and raring to go by the time they're opened their bedroom door! I LOVE having time in the morning to read my Bible and pray for my husband and children. I have found this really focuses me during the day and helps me to be more intentional about my actions. On a good day, I am more patient and understanding. On a bad day, I pray a LOT more! Actually, every day I pray a lot more nowadays, but you know what I mean.  
Thanks must go to Kat of Inspired to Action for helping to encourage me to do this with her free Maximize Your Mornings eBook. If you've never visited her website, I highly recommend you do! She has some wonderful resources available.

This post has turned out to be different than what I thought it would be when I started writing. But hey, that's okay! I'd love to get a discussion going about this. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Do you travel the mountain tops and the doldrums too? What helps you? Who helps you? Do you get out of bed before your kids? With your kids? After your kids? (I have been known to do this...) Don't have kids? Tell me about the mountain tops and doldrums you experience.

PS: If you don't know how to comment on here, look for a wee button on the footer bar below that says how many comments there are and click on that link. :)


  1. I hear ya Jess. It's never the same day twice, and each new dawn brings with it juggling, challenges, frustration and joy. I think you're amazing.


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