25 March 2014

On Happy Beginnings...

It's been a very long time since I wrote an update on my journey to finding my birth mother, B. I figured it was about time to sit down and bang it out! Would you like a quick recap? I was adopted at birth and in 2012 began the process of tracking down my birth-mother (for privacy, I refer to her as B - for Birth-mother), and you followed along my journey as I sent off the first letter and received the first reply! It was incredible.

I know the generally accepted nice thing about stories is the happy ending, but in this case the process of finding B has turned into a happy beginning. I found her - and it's WONDERFUL. Now we begin a new process of getting to know each other.

source L R

Since I last wrote about being in touch with B, we've talked on the phone a few times which has been so great. I was nervous at first - I somehow always find talking on the phone really awkward - but it's so easy to talk to B! We both agree that if we had all day we would certainly not run out of things to talk about. Hearing B's voice is pretty special. She has a smiley voice. :)

We've been exchanging letters as well as talking on the phone - though I'm a lot slower at replying, as anyone who knows me will verify! I still get the same thrill when I open the letterbox and see a letter from B as I did the very first time she wrote. Snail mail is really quite exciting! However, we are going to get set up with email soon so that we can correspond a bit more immediately. Letters are so lovely, but email is instant. :)


I was saying to Hayden the other day, now that I'm in touch with B and we're beginning to develop a relationship, I feel like this fundamental part of me has altered. My whole life up until now has involved knowing I was adopted but not knowing anything about who or where I came from. It's like I was a clean start; I had no generational family history behind me. Just me. Though I know and love the family history I have been given - because the family I'm a part of will always be my Family. Now though, I have answers and a place for my genetic family that were never there. And not just names, but real people, with the possibility of real, loving relationships.

It's hard to explain, particularly because I feel like however I express it I'll be expressing my loyalty in the wrong direction. Is it like when you get married, and your husband's family becomes your family too, and you love them? Maybe. Is it like when you have another baby and your heart expands to make room for the new one, without losing anything for the first one? Possibly.

Anyway, what it is at the moment, is fabulous. I'm so excited to have this amazing relationship with B who is just so lovely. We - me (especially me) and Hayden, and my parents and grandparents - are just so excited to meet her. I think it will be so surreal! Only a few months time! Later this year!! Squeeeeeee! I've heard that when you meet your birth mother you realise that she smells right... I'll give her a big whiff and let you know! ;)


Check out the Adoption & Me tab at the top of the page for the rest of the posts in this series.

(Also, I know I haven't yet answered any of the questions here on this post (where I asked for questions from you!) so I promise that's next on my list of adoption posts!)


  1. Thank you for sharing more of your journey Jess - having talked 'irl' with you re this I know there are so many emotions involved so glad to hear it is coming along nicely :) and omg a BIG SQUEE that you get to meet irl I do hope you'll blog about that!

  2. later this year!!!! oh that is SO exciting :o) I think divided loyalty is a sucky emotion but I totally get that - having divorced parents and new stepparents and loving them both always feels a bit the same to me.

  3. Oh so exciting! the loyalty thing is really hard - but i think you've described it well :) Yay for happy beginnings - what a wonderful journey and experience for you all! x

  4. LOVE "Happy Beginnings" that is such a cool take on it....really don't know who is more excited? you or me...Love B xx

  5. Yay - I am so stoked you get to meet B IRL! That is awesome! I hope you blog about it, and I totally get your mixed emotions (not in the sense of your perspective - but in the understanding of why it is mixed)!


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